Chocolates and Teams of Green
by NoOneShallKnow
Summary: Crack!fic in which Spock ingests chocolate and sugar. Also contains Spork love because I can't write fic without it.


It was rare to see Mr. Spock going at any speed other than his steady, elegant stride. He tended to be silent, calm and composed. So, no one believed the ensigns gossiping in the mess that said Spock had been running noisily down in engineering, hair messy and mouth covered in chocolate.

That is, until Lt. Kar F'rath from Engineering turned from the turbolift door she was fixing and spotted Spock running down the hall, arms flailing up and down wildly. Kar's jaw dropped, her eyes huge as she stared. His hair was messy, face perfectly serious even though he had chocolate smeared around his mouth and on his hands.

"Yes, Lt.?" Spock asked, stopping in front of the stunned teenaged girl. His tongue darted out over his lip.

"What are you doing, Mr. Spock? And why are you covered in chocolate?" Kar asked, slightly afraid to know the answer.

"I am attempting to fly. It is logical; I may find myself in need of such a talent in the future." Spock answered before taking off once more, arms waving up and down. Kar could almost imagine that he was making airplane sound effects or humming a song in his head. If Spock hadn't been Vulcan, he probably would have been.

Kar stared after him, eyes still slightly enormous and jaw comically slack. She heard pounding footfalls coming towards her and looked over. The Captain was running, looking a little frantic, his eyes darting about.

"SPOCK?! WHERE ARE YOU? C'MON, I HAVE MORE CHOCOLATE FOR YOU!" he hollered as he passed her, turning the corner at the other end of the hall.

"..."

---

Jim stopped when he spotted a streak of chocolate on a turbolift door. He got in quickly, hitting the button covered in sweet-smelling brown. The turbolift zoomed upwards, halting just a few floors higher. He stepped off, looking left and right. Turning, he peered around the corner.

Hand shaped chocolate marks made a trail up the wall, then stopped suddenly. Jim moved into the hall, steps slow and cautious.

"Spo-GAH!" Jim shrieked, falling to the floor with a dull thud. His back protested painfully as he landed, a hot mass of heavy Vulcan sitting on his ribs.

"Bwah!" Spock indulged in a child like cackle as he sprung to his feet and darted away. Jim was left staring at the chocolate handprints covering the ceiling.

"Whaa?"

---

"Well, somebody stuck a cloud to his butt." Sulu said, looking mostly amused and a bit confused. Spock, Keenser and Gaila were playing hopscotch, yes _hopscotch_, to the twenty-first century song Supermassive Black Hole. Spock giggled and flipped onto his hands, face quickly flushing a dark green.

"That somebody is the Captain. He gave Spock four chocolate bars and six _cups_ of sugar. I don't know why or how, but the hobgoblin ate it all. Now, not only is he drunk, he's also on a major sugar high. Last time it wasn't nearly this bad." McCoy growled, watching as Spock hopped upside down along the spray painted hopscotch game on the Observation Deck floor.

"Last time?" Sulu asked.

"Jim got Spock hammered during our last shore leave, and then the idiot lost him. It took us four hours to find the bastard."

"Where was he?"

"In a tree."

Sulu choked on a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand as he fell back against the wall. That's when Jim burst through the door, likely having followed the trailing of crewmembers cleaning chocolate off the walls.

"JIM!" Spock yelled, flipping back onto his feet. Before Jim could react, Spock tackled him to the floor, lying atop him and nuzzling at his neck. His cheeks were flushed a pretty green, eyes closed and lips curled.

Spock's hands wandered down Jim's body, fingers trailing over his ribs, across his belly and down to his hips. He scratched over the material covering Jim's thigh, mouthing at his neck. Jim, efficiently distracted, didn't notice when Spock's quick fingers snatched the remaining chocolate and candy from his pockets.

"INITIATE ESCAPE PLAN THREE!" Spock yelled to Gaila and Keenser as he jumped up.

Gaila and Keenser -two thirds of the "Green Team", as the Orion had dubbed them- ran to the nearest wall and started climbing. Keenser reached the large vent first, pulling off its screen and crawling in, Gaila following close behind. Spock threw their treasure up to his two companions before commencing his trek up the wall.

He closed the vent behind him, leaving Jim on the floor once more and Sulu and Bones falling against each other, faces red as they laughed.

---

It took two hours for Jim to find them again, hidden deep inside Gaila's quarters. Well, _high_ made more sense than deep. After having bribed Scotty with some very old, very expensive Orion whiskey, she had gotten him to build a platform high up that was very much an oversized shelving unit. It took up two thirds of the room span, seven feet below and three above.

There was a small bed in the corner, but the blankets and pillows were missing. Jim dragged the rooms sole chair over, climbing onto it.

Spock and Gaila were curled together in a mess of ultra soft blankets and fluffy pillows, legs tangled, Spock's face tucked into Gaila's chest. Gaila was snoring softly, cheek pressed to the top of Spock's head, Spock's hand fisted in the back of her purple tank top.

"Spock?" Jim reached a hand out and shook the Vulcan gently, knowing that it wouldn't take much to wake him up even in his sugar high aftermath. Spock's nose scrunched up and he nuzzled Gaila's warm skin.

"C'mon baby, time to come back to our room now." Spock's eyelids fluttered and he let out a small yawn as he moved away from Gaila, tongue curling upwards at the tip. His eyes opened and he blinked, looking around before Jim fell into his line of sight.

Jim grinned and Spock smiled back at him, dropping a kiss near Gaila's mouth before carefully untangling himself. Jim stepped off the chair and moved it back to its original spot, watching as Spock crawled to the edge of the platform and slipped off, landing on his feet even though he stumbled sleepily.

Jim wrapped an arm around Spock's waist, steering him out of the room and back to their own.

"You're lucky I know that you'd never cheat on me..."


End file.
